I Forgot My Car Today (And Why That Makes Me Better at Business)

I forgot my car in a parking lot today. True story. Like, actually, I actually forgot my car. Made it all the way home. And my wife said, where's the jeep? And I electricity. And my first thought was, all right, let's go and steal it. Like which I don't know. What do you mean? And I went, Well, that's right, I you see, what happened was I drove down to, you know, a few blocks, down from from my house to park the jeep because there's this massive hill I've been doing for my knee, and I ever wanted him to to fuck up my knee.

So I've been driving down to the to the to the parking lot, posting up there and then doing all my walking and and exercise and start from there. Right. So today I, I did that which I've done now for weeks. And I was really into this idea, like the stuff, the start that I had and I'm recording voice notes or I'm writing stuff to myself and I'm like, I'm really into this idea.

And I'm walking all the way back to the house. I go up the hill like mindlessly, like not even not even thinking about it. Got to the house, was getting ready to to do a sales webinar, and my wife asked the question. I thought, oh shit, I forgot the car. And so she smiles at me and I said, I'll, I'll go back and get it here in just a little bit at lunch.

So the now here's a couple things. One is I have I have ADHD if he couldn't tell and I've level one autism and combined. What that means is at least for me, like I'm no expert in the field. I'm no doctor, at least for me. What I know is one of the characteristics that I have is I get wildly obsessed about things that I like.

Right? It's why I learn things so quickly. Oftentimes, like it's not just raw or IQ, like it's like the fact that I just get obsessed with something, I can't put it down, and I get locked into my head and I get so fixated on something that I can be looking right at something and still not really see it. Right. And that is, you know, one of them, one of the things that I, that I do frequently and the flip side to that is I also just completely forget shit that I don't care about.

So it's like the things that I get honed in, honed in on and lock in, it's like, oh shit. It's like a like the death grip. But almost everything else, like around that tends to go in one ear, out the other, and more than more than most people, as you can tell. Like my because historically I have flown in to the wrong cities. I have forgotten to eat all day. I have forgotten cars. This is not the first time I forgot a car.

And it just it happens. Great. And they are extreme weaknesses that I have. But the thing that I've learned is that extreme weaknesses always come with extreme strengths. So in my case, while it's obviously a, it's a it's a weakness to forget things like your car. I also have some, some things that I'm very, very, very good at that that other people aren't.

Right. Like a big one for, for me, that's made me a lot of money has been I'm really good with seeing patterns and building systems for really complex things. Right. Like that's a that's what I basically make my living doing. I'm very good at. I can take new, very, very complex sales models and businesses. We can systematize it. That's why I talk about scale as much as I do.

I know when it comes to to business, like imagination and creativity, like I've like, I've been told like throughout my career, throughout other things. So I've got like, as if you're looking at a chart that's average and there's a straight line across the middle of a piece of paper. You know, when you've like neurodiversity, it's a term I've read recently about like is, you know, the extremes, right? Extreme weaknesses, extreme strengths.

And if any of this sounds familiar, I'm recording this podcast on the day that I forgot yet another car, because there are a handful of things that I've done that have made me a better entrepreneur, that have made me a better husband, made me a better dad, a better person. While navigating through some of the the neurodiversity. Right. And what I just want to do is share what those are. If this is familiar, cool. It's not a how to guide.

Like I can simply only share things that have truly worked for me. As somebody at 45 who has probably fought this most of my life and only recently, kind of learned what the what the deal was and what was underneath some of it. And so approaching it differently. I've seen, I've had better results. And I just like I said, I want to I want to share what those are.

So few, few high level things as I, as I thought through one one is it sounds so simple, but like accepting it. This is what for years I fought this right? I didn't know what it was like, candidly. And like this. This whole year has been a lot of discovery. But I didn't know what it was like. So I'm, you know, I'm. I would try meditation. I'd try the focus tools. I would try this, I would try that, I tried that, and I just beat the living fuck out of myself because, like, what the fuck doesn't this word this works for these people.

What does it work for me, accepting it allowed me to stop doing a lot of things that were really just like they weren't making anything better, but they were creating all sorts of tension and friction and it didn't like obviously didn't didn't help. So I stopped trying to, quote, fix it. Right? Like it's whatever it is, call it, label it. I don't I don't know, but but it's I'm 45 like I've been this is not new. Like this goes back to grade school. This is a kid that got expelled while having straight A's.

Like I've it's there's been something. Right. And I've just stopped trying to fix it. I there are things that I can do to, to support it. There are things that I can do to offset it, which I'll, I'll share, but I don't need to try to fix it. And no amount of effort is going to is going to. And along with that, I stopped feeling guilty about it.

Like there are there are things that I, I carry it around. I would forgot that thing like, you know, if this had happened a few years ago, I might become like God for like for like an idiot I have. Did I actually forget my car? Yet another car? They. Come on, man, like you're you're not an idiot. But I kind of walk around with this feeling of like, kind of kicking myself in the ass. And the other thing I stopped doing was trying to compare my results from something to somebody else's. Right.

So there are things that have worked a meditation, some other tools. But I don't need to compare your results to my results from that thing, right? Like what? I know that I'm going to probably get different results. Sometimes I might get better results from a specific tactic. Sometimes you might, sometimes might not experience it. But all I can do is like go experiential. So that's a word on this. I say, hey, I'm doing X. Here's how I'm responding to it. Is it improving things? Is it not? If I don't get the same or as as good of results as somebody else, it doesn't mean I'm doing it wrong, doesn't mean things wrong. Just means didn't work for me. Right?

So one was I accepted it. Two was I kind of quit trusting my memory. Now I actually have I've I've an exceptional memory, if I do say so myself about things that I true what I care about, right. Like I can remember numbers. I can remember like I can remember things very, very well, particularly things that I've been locked in on it and honed in on. I just like, you know, it's like a firehose. I can take all the information, get it in my head, but I can't remember. Take out the fucking trash. But my wife asked me to take out the trash.

My kids will laugh in those because I will move the trash can in front of the door. If I'm not going to do it right then, then what I'll do is I'll like, hey, you know what? I don't trust memory. I will let me move this trash can to this thing because I know in 30s when I walk out this door, I will completely blank it. Like I just completely forget it. So I. I don't trust my memory.

The other day, my my wife called me was, is at the gym, and she told me when when I left, said, hey, the housekeeper is going to be there. So, you know, they're all doing laundry. So just remember, there's no no towels upstairs when you shower, so. Okay. Got it. And I is at the gym and she called me, said, hey, I just I really want to tell you that there's no towels up there. So if you get sucked out of the shower, there's, there's going to be people in the house and you're going to be Sol.

I said, thanks. So like, I took my hoodie at the time, that I've been kind of carrying around the gym, and I tied it around my waist and put it in a double mop because, like, I know I'm going to fucking forget that. I know I should care about that. But right now I'm focused on this thing, and I that's just going to bounce off my brain. So don't trust my memory and kind of play tricks with myself to remember things that I know I'm not going to.

A third thing is, and this is this is really big, as I now think in teams. And what I mean is, like the people around me, the are all part of a system that collectively can work exceptionally well. And this was why, solopreneur ship was very difficult for me. Like looking back on it and realizing a lot of the struggles and a lot of the challenges they faced.

It was because here I am with like some extreme strengths and also some extreme weaknesses, doing everything myself. And if I was closer to average across like not than skill level, I would just like in terms of general executive function and a lot of other stuff, then maybe it wouldn't have been as difficult, but the obsessing over something and walking out like is good in some ways, but also means other stuff might not be getting done right.

So I, I now think in terms of teams who can balance me the most, right, who's going to offset this thing and what I have found personally is usually people with the opposite strengths, like extremes or even or great, like my wife has. It's almost like if you took off somebody where the things we have a ton of overlap, but the things that we're kind of extremist on are on opposite things. And together, like two pieces of a puzzle works fucking perfectly. But that's like that. As a unit.

We work really well. That's now how I think about most things. Like I think about the business. I think about, you know, other areas of growth. How can I take the strengths that I have, allow myself to leverage those superpowers in? The best way to do that is to offset it by having somebody who has an extreme strength on the thing that I'm weak and vice versa.

Now handful of like quick hit tactics, things that have worked well for me probably work well for anybody getting out there and walking like I just think better. I operate better, I write better when I'm moving. Helps me a lot. Little fidget toys I use like poker chips. I use like all sorts of show over the years. And I even realized they were like fidget toys, cards and or, like, anything to keep my hands busy or kind of like me from drifting so that I can focus on the thing in front of me. So it's like occupying the busy part of my brain so I can, I can focus.

Meditation works really well. I don't I don't put a lot of pressure on myself to do it every day or for a certain period time, but I know doing it frequently certainly certainly helps. Blocks of time without tech. Like like a full day. Fucking awesome. Like we had no device Sundays. My strategic planning will do all, like, a full, like I'll turn off tech. Right. And it's it's it's good for the brain.

And then first, like a lot of routines and rituals, like morning routines, rituals. Right. Like, kind of align a whole bunch of habits together, like on on the morning walk or jog. Word includes, like some journaling and include some proactive day planning, some other stuff. So, I'm just sharing this as stuff that is that has helped me.

Don't know if it will help you, but it was an experience. I, I said, you know, this is maybe worth sharing because I don't have this shit all figured out, but, I mean, I just forgot a car, obviously. But I have created an environment where I have a business that's thriving, I have a marriage, it's thriving. My my kids and I like we all, we all operate really well, and I'm able to focus most of my time on the things that are super power for me.

And when I do shit like, forget a car, it's okay, because that's the environment that we've designed. And some of these things that I've gone through have been like a huge help. So, sharing this in case it is helpful for you are.