Your Inner Critic Isn't a Bug. It's a Weapon.
That voice in your head telling you to do better, work harder, be more—should you silence it or lean into it? Society says constant self-criticism is unhealthy, that you should learn to be content and accept yourself as you are. But what if that relentless inner critic is actually your superpower? This deeply personal episode explores how embracing (not fighting) the inner critic helped jump literal generations of family trajectory—from broken homes and instability to building the life most people only dream about. Learn the two critical mindset shifts that turn self-criticism from exhausting battle into rocket fuel, including the crucial distinction between "my actions can improve" versus "I'm not enough as a person."
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Welcome to Repeatable Revenue, hosted by strategic growth advisor , Ray J. Green.
About Ray:
→ Former Managing Director of National Small & Midsize Business at the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, where he doubled revenue per sale in fundraising, led the first increase in SMB membership, co-built a national Mid-Market sales channel, and more.
→ Former CEO operator for several investor groups where he led turnarounds of recently acquired small businesses.
→ Current founder of MSP Sales Partners, where we currently help IT companies scale sales: www.MSPSalesPartners.com
→ Current Sales & Sales Management Expert in Residence at the world’s largest IT business mastermind.
→ Current Managing Partner of Repeatable Revenue Ventures, where we scale B2B companies we have equity in: www.RayJGreen.com
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Transcript
Unknown
I got a confession for you. And it is that my inner critic. The voice in my head is a loud son of a bitch. And I'm talking about the voice that is constantly telling me I can do better. Hey, that's a good workout. You can workout harder or you're doing okay on food, but, you know, look at the food like, dude, you, you know, you can be eating better, less, you know, maybe one less margarita here and there like it's and you know, constantly like picking at it, you know, it says, yeah, you can be a better dad.
::Unknown
You can be more present or at work, you can be more focused, you can get more done, you can be more productive. Like, I've got this voice that is in my head constantly telling me that I can do better is nagging me. I used to criticize the critic, right? Like I used to actually like that voice. I used to think my job, part of my job was to get rid of that voice, or it was to quiet that voice or to temper that voice.
::Unknown
And it stemmed from my belief, or at least my perception that there's like a societal norm today that says constantly criticizing yourself like it's not it's not good mental health that it's it's more, quote, healthy. If you can learn to be content, learn to love yourself as you are, learn to be more. You're more compassionate to yourself. Accept the the imperfections.
::Unknown
And you know you don't have to push yourself all the time, right? So that's kind of been that drilled into my head. But that's kind of what I've what I believed the norm is supposed to be. Right. Based on where I've read who I do, I listen to things like that. And it led me to constantly trying to to fight the inner critic, like constantly criticizing the critic and and trying to change it.
::Unknown
And every time I it's like the more that I tried to change it, the more that I tried to quiet it. It made things worse, like it created more disruption in my in my head because now I, I not only have the critic like that didn't go away, but now I have this thing says, hey, that's critic is not right either.
::Unknown
So like you're I'm layering on on top of each other. And I finally realized that my inner critic is a feature is not a bug. It is something that is part of me, is part of my system. It is not a bug to be fixed or something to be silenced or something to be. You know, taken out like it's something elite to be leaned into.
::Unknown
And the reason I came to this conclusion was personally right. Like, I can't speak for other people. I just tell you. But for me, that inner critic, the one that was constantly pushing me and constantly telling me to raise the bar and raise the standard and do better, do more is what I credit to jumping literal generations of change for my family and for my life.
::Unknown
Right. Like this is and I'm talking about, you know, growing up with multiple divorces, growing up with an absent father, growing up in, in broken homes, you know, being split up from my sister, we didn't have any money. Nobody really had much education in my family. Like, all of these things were what I was. I was raised with.
::Unknown
There was alcoholism, there was addiction, there was abuse. There were like all of this. The shit where I am today, you know, is that it's not a it's not to brag, but it's to say, like, I'm happily married to the mother of my kids, I and I, I adore my wife. And we have a solid foundation, a nuclear family.
::Unknown
She's an incredible homemaker. Our boys are happy. They are healthy. They know nothing of the instability that that I had or the experience that I had growing up or that my sisters had. You know, I've got an MBA from a top private school. I graduated summa cum laude. I got invited to Beta Gamma Sigma. Obviously, I got my bachelor's degree before that.
::Unknown
But I, you know, I went from, you know, a family that has virtually no education, no college into it to, you know, an MBA from a top private school. You know, we're we're raising our family. And in Cabo, we travel from three months a year. You know, this year alone, we've been to France, we've been to Italy, we've been to Spain, we've been to Virginia to see family, Texas to see family.
::Unknown
We've been to Florida to see family. And it's like we travel all the time. We have like we don't want for for very much. And I think about where I am today and it's it's a lifestyle. It's a life that I almost couldn't dream of as a kid. I attribute a big part of that huge leap to the fact that I didn't accept our standards, right?
::Unknown
That I knew I could do better, that I like. I had this voice that said, no, like, this is not for you. You can fucking do better. You will fucking do better. There are going to be no excuses. And you know, I maybe that voice in my head is maybe it can get annoying, maybe can get frustrating. Maybe at times I'm like to him like, this is exhausting.
::Unknown
Like, but you know what? It's also the thing that drove that completely changed the trajectory of of my entire family and led me from where I was growing up to building the thing, the life that I have for my wife and for my kids. If that voice is the one that drives me well, and it's not a bad thing, right?
::Unknown
Like there's no sense criticizing the critic. Like I should actually say, hey, thanks, man. Like, even if it's been you, have you been a little bit of an asset for a while? Like, thank you. I finally realize that criticizing the critic for me was unhealthy. Like it wasn't going away. No matter the amount of energy or effort or work that I put in to try to silence it, the shit wasn't going away.
::Unknown
So why not just turn it into a superpower? And there's two things that I would say I did to turn my critique into a strength. First of all, one was just accept it. Like accept that's who I am. And I don't expect everybody listening this to this, like so completely relate. I get it, and that's okay with me.
::Unknown
I know what I want is not what most people want, right? Like, I know that my standards are higher. I know that when I think of the expectation I have for myself in terms of health, in terms of fitness, in terms of business, in terms of being, you know, present with my family, I understand, like I want a lot and my ambitions and my goals and my dreams might be significantly higher than everyone else's.
::Unknown
And as a result, I've got to do things that everyone else won't necessarily do. So when I say the critic is pushing me to do these things that everyone goes but to just like you eat better than everyone. I know you exercise more than everyone already know. You know your business is doing really great relative to so most I go, I know, I get it, but you know, like I hold myself to a higher standard and I don't I don't need the validation from everyone else.
::Unknown
So I've just accepted that the critic is good for me and that most people won't understand it. And that is okay. And what I don't need to take is other people's confusion or misunderstanding my own relationship with my own, with with how I deal with this. Nobody's going to get it. And if I if I manage to change the way that I think to the way that everybody else thinks, or if I change it to the mean or to the average, I wouldn't be where I am today, my kids wouldn't be where they are today.
::Unknown
And it's like, so again, I'm good with it. I accept it, I'm not going to fight it. It is there. And leaning into it was like the first, the first thing that that really helps me. And I mean leaning into it while accepting that other people wouldn't get it right. And then the second thing, and this is a this is an important caveat like this.
::Unknown
There is some nuance to this. And it's that the inner critic, to me, the voice in my head is telling me where my actions can be better, my behaviors can be better, my standards can be better. But me as a person, I'm not earning my worth by doing this. It's not like, hey, if I don't eat better today or you're shitbox, right?
::Unknown
Like you're like, you're terrible. Or if I, you know, end up having to work 16 hours today and don't get to do the thing that I wanted with my kids, like, maybe you're a terrible dad now. Like, it's just it's what I do is use it to raise the standard of my actions, my behaviors, my habits, but don't allow it to permeate into my actual full self-worth or a feeling of me not being enough if I don't do these things.
::Unknown
And that's a really important piece to us, because I can accept that, like, my actions will probably never be enough, right? Like, okay, the critics are going to be there for into perpetuity. Let's just accept that, don't fight it. But that doesn't mean that I'm not enough as as a person like so there's a there's a big difference to me is between I am enough as a person and my performance and habits can always improve.
::Unknown
And I am not enough as a person. And until my performance and habits increase, right. Like that's a that's a very important distinction. And it's what enables me to maintain the voice and embrace the voice without feeling like I'm, you know, doing like screwing up my mental health or fucking up my, my sense of self-worth. Like I'm still whole.
::Unknown
I am still good. I am so now it's not to get like woo woo on you. But if you are going to say, listen, I'm going to always push like it's never going to be enough. And once I get to that thing, guess what? I know myself well enough to know that there's going to be another thing. There's going to be another level.
::Unknown
There's going to be another mountain. There's going to be like, I'm just going to accept that that's who I am, and I'm going to lean into the fact and embrace it, that, hey, that's probably why I get the results that I get. However, what I can't do as a person is say, I'm not good enough until I do these things, because that's okay.
::Unknown
It's a trap. Anyway, I'm going to raise the level. Next time. I'm going to raise the level. Next time I'm going to raise the level next time. So I can't wait until I reach some finish line to say, dude, you are whole and you are. You are good with yourself. This is purely an actions and behaviors thing. So that's been my that's been my experience.
::Unknown
Wanted to share that in case it's in case it's helpful for you a many of you I know it won't you go do just some drawing with you? And that's that's perfectly fine. But for those of you that might help, I opened it or else.
